Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
