The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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