sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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