I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize