when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
