yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
