Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
