I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
