can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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