I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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