a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
