That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
