I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
