Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
