There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
