i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
