Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
