tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
