You can't motorboat a personality
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
