I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
