Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
