i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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