I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
