Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
