Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm passing your future prison.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
