just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
