Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
