I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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