Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
