I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
