he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
