like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
