Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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