it hurts more in the daytime
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
