I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
