Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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