You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if only i could text you this smell
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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