she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
