I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
