I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he fucked my hip out of place.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
