Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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