We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They have beer where we have blood.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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