I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
