walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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