yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
