Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
As shirtless as possible
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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