i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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