so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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