did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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