is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
