Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
