It's just like the Real World with babies
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
