I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
