Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
