Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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