went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
