I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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