He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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