i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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