official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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